EPAs

I arrived at 9:30 am to help with Reverie Productions' EPAs - essentially Open Calls for members of Actors Equity . Non-profit theaters, or maybe any theater with an equity contract, are obliged to hold these auditions.

They are torture. And very depressing.

I believe we saw close to 150-175 actors over the course of 7 hours. That's about 20 an hour, giving each actor less than 3 minutes to audition. It just wreaks so horribly of desperation.

Worst was the misogyny and out-and-out violence in these monologues. OK, mea culpa: I shouldn't have asked for dramatic monologues. I should have asked for comedic - why not? The play I'm working on may not be an uproarious comedy, but hey, at least hearing comedy might have been entertaining - for both auditor and performer (auditioner).

Here are my new rules

1) No mamet (especially Glengarry)
2) No screaming
3) No violence
4) No need to use anyone behind the table
5) Please be sure to resemble a human, if at all possible, before beginning, as well as after concluding with the piece.

There was one guy who just terrified me: i had this vision of him at home in his garret chainsmoking while watching reruns of vampirella and elvira and whipping himself and examining his pierced flesh. He had some horrific monologue and of course directed it at poor Layna who recoiled in horror.

Then there was the woman who loved Thom Pain - "saw it twice". She announced that her piece would be fierce and then proceeded to screech at us at decibel higher than the who concerts of the 70s - some caryl churchill monologue. What was I to do with it? It was "fierce" to be sure - but I just thought to myself "My god! I am being shouted at!"

The whole affair terrified me the same way temping did: My god. I never want to do this again. Ever. Please let it end. You can't help but to spin downward thinking about life and the sorry state of affairs.

There were complete sociopaths in the lot: and they have to be at least equity candidates to qualify.

At times I felt like I was in a sidney lumet film (early 70s). Especially when the older ladies came in...You can't help but sympathize with them: how they're dressed, their bags, their hopes...There was a woman who was in Scorsese's the departed (last year) and well - she attached a picture attached to her resume with her smiling in front of a casket. I dunno...I had horrific dreams as a result.

In a way, I kind of admired the woman who just went up on her lines and walked out without saying thanks or sorry - it violates rule 5 above, but hey - when you know you've tanked, sometimes its just better to get out of the room.

I will say this now, and proclaim it loudly: NEVER AGAIN!

westbank cafe

West Bank Cafe is pretty much always a bit of groundzero for the off broadway set. It's the sardi's for Theater Row and Playwrights Horizons?

last week bumped into Danny Goldstein (who just got a Broadway gig directing Godspell) and Matt Stadelman and Megan Mostyn Brown (whose work I've wanted to read from a recommendation from Megan Monaghan at SCR.)

And I don't know who else was there: last night it was kathleen chalfant post-hard heart and Derek Lucci while I dined with Brad Heberlee.

Why do I feel like I am writing in the persona of a gossip columnist...No No No...

But - it's always fun to go to the WestBank Cafe, it seems...

Casting Bren

I have a reading tomorrow at the Public, a play called STORYTELLERS by Tom McCormick, the author of ENDPAPERS from a few years back.

I visited Tom at his apartment on CPW and met his wife. We had a nice lunch, and talked about baseball, the west wing, Shakespeare, and of course, his play. I believe we are on the same page. My task today: To go through the script and determine which stage directions are to be read.

Our biggest concern has been the casting of Bren: a Sam Shepherd type in his mid to late 20s if he went to Princeton. We rejected some great names because Tom wasn't convinced these actors would have the weight. With Oskar's blessing and input, we've cast Ben Walker - looking forward to meeting him.

Which is of course the funny thing about casting, if you don't get to cast the folks you know: you must implicitly trust the castind director's choice. Fortunately, I feel very confident that Heidi and Jordan at the public have come up with a wonderful cast for us. They put in atypical workload for this kind of reading.

I am hopeful Tom will get a lot out of the reading. The objective: is Bren a viable character as writtern. We'll see...

A HARD HEART

and also a hard play. Epic Theater Ensemble (formerly Epic THeater Center) is putting on this rather difficult Howard Barker play about a master strategist (Kathleen Chalfant) whose strategy seems to be destroying the city state she is hired to save - and descending into genius/madness all the while.

She is great, as is Melissa Friedman as the queen. And I didn't realize that I was seeing the first preview. It was wonky, to be sure, and many folks won't like it or get it, still...I was reminded just how damn funny howard barker can be.

The set by Narelle seemed a bit unwieldy and inelegant, but I suppose that was the point. There are a lot of shirts and other clothing on the stage, that I think are intended to represent the slaughtered humans of the land. I wish the stage hands would be more sadistic with them as they throw them from the set to the floor.

Weekend marathon

Saw four shows in two days - all with rachel.

1001
By jason grote

HAMLET
At the pearl

WHEN THE MESSENGER IS HOT
By laura eason

DEPARTURES
By kristen palmer